#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS If you’ve been feeling like you’re moving through life in slow motion while everyone else is sprinting toward success, you are not alone. You open your phone and suddenly it seems like everybody just got promoted, bought a house, started a business, hit 100K followers, or got flown out somewhere expensive. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there wondering if it’s weird to list “made it to work on time” as a win. It absolutely IS! And before you even realize it, that little creeping thought sneaks in again: “I should be further along by now.” Let’s pause right there. Because that feeling? That’s not a failure. That’s progress anxiety. It’s that voice in your head that tells you you’re falling behind, even when you’re doing the best you can with what you have. It’s triggered by timelines you didn’t agree to, comparisons you never asked for, and a culture that sells “overnight success” like it’s a buy one get one free. The truth is, slow growth is still growth. Sometimes the building season is quiet. Sometimes it’s unglamorous. And sometimes it means holding it together behind the scenes while everyone else seems to be having their main character moment. You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re just on your path. And if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s, that’s because it’s not supposed to. So let’s talk about what it means to feel anxious about your progress, how to shift out of that scarcity mindset, and how to honor the season you’re actually in.

Progress anxiety is sneaky because it makes you feel like your current season has an expiration date. Like if you’re not visibly thriving, you’re wasting time. But real growth? It doesn’t always come with receipts. Sometimes it looks like quietly breaking generational patterns, working on your emotional regulation, or finally letting go of timelines that never belonged to you in the first place. But because so much of that work happens internally, it’s easy to dismiss it as “not enough.” That’s the lie this blog is here to challenge. Just because you can’t always measure your progress in milestones doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward. We live in a culture that pushes productivity as proof of purpose. But progress is not a performance. You’re allowed to be in process. You’re allowed to be mid-rebrand, mid-healing, mid im just figuring it out. And yes, you’re still worthy even if you haven’t figured out your five year plan. What if you’re not behind and you’re just building? And what if this quiet season of your life is laying the foundation for something you can’t fully see yet, but it’s coming? You don’t have to panic just because you can’t post it. Trust that the universe sees you showing up, even if no one else claps yet.

“In Progress” Isn’t Perfect

You ever notice how people love a good before and after story, but barely talk about the middle part? That murky, confusing, messy part where you’re trying new things, letting go of old ones, and constantly questioning if any of it is even working? Yeah, THAT part. The part where you’re “in progress” but haven’t hit the glow up yet. Society treats that season like it’s being honest about it is a crime, like being in between dreams means you’re failing. But in reality? That middle space is where the real transformation happens. It’s where you’re building muscle, learning boundaries, and figuring out what actually aligns with your values. It’s where the magic is, even if it doesn’t always look pretty from the outside. And the pressure to “have it all figured out” by a certain age only makes it worse. Instead of asking, “What’s the perfect routine?” start asking, “What does my nervous system need today?” If your routine helps you feel regulated, connected, and present, it’s doing its job, even if it looks boring or inconsistent to someone else. You’re not behind. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it your way. Black grrrls in particular are often praised for their potential before they’re even given space to explore it. We’re told to be brilliant, but not too bold. To achieve, but not to rest. To make progress, but only if it’s neat, polished, and Instagram-worthy. But life doesn’t move in straight lines. Progress doesn’t always mean promotions, milestones, or public wins. Sometimes it looks like choosing yourself for the first time. Sometimes it looks like crying in your car, then going back in and finishing what you started. Sometimes it’s as quiet as a shift in mindset or as bold as quitting something that used to define you. So take the pressure off. Let this be your permission slip to be a work in progress without shame. Not everything needs to be finished to be valuable. You’re allowed to be mid-dream, mid-journey, mid-glow-up. You’re allowed to be figuring it out. And you’re allowed to not have a tidy explanation for every step you take. As long as you’re listening to yourself, honoring your growth, and staying true to what feels aligned, you are doing more than enough.

Let’s Talk Growth

It’s time to address the soft launch, not of your latest relationship, but of you. That quiet shift you make when you start doing things differently, not for applause or aesthetic, but because something in you decided it was time. Maybe it’s the way you stopped over apologizing at work. Or how you started sleeping in on Saturdays without guilt. Maybe you finally said no to a collaboration that didn’t align. Whatever it is, it’s growth. Even if no one claps for it. Even if it doesn’t come with a new title or a fancy announcement post. Every boundary, every tiny decision to honor your peace, is a win. A win is a win! But the problem is, we’ve been conditioned to think that growth has to be loud and obvious. That unless people see it, it didn’t happen. Especially for Black women and femmes, there’s this pressure to constantly be proving our progress, becoming “better,” doing more, achieving faster. And because of that, we often undervalue the subtle, invisible work it takes to unlearn people pleasing, to rest without guilt, to move in silence. The world might not give you a gold star for healing your inner child, but that doesn’t make it less real. You’re soft launching a new version of yourself and that’s something to celebrate. This is your reminder that becoming doesn’t have to be a spectacle. You don’t owe the internet a transformation story. You don’t have to explain to your group chat why you’re suddenly not answering the phone after 8 PM. You’re allowed to change quietly. You’re allowed to upgrade your habits without a full rebrand. And honestly? That’s often where the deepest growth lives, in the choices you make when no one’s watching. When you’re showing up for yourself not because you want praise, but because you’re tired of abandoning your own needs. Keep taking care of your future self in small ways. Keep turning inward and asking what feels right, not what looks right. Trust that the people who are meant to see you will notice the shift. Not because you performed it for them, but because your energy changed. And if they don’t get it? That’s okay too. You don’t need to translate your evolution to people committed to misunderstanding your glow up.

Main Character Maintenance

Being the “main character” is more than just a TikTok trend or an excuse to romanticize walking through Target with headphones on. It’s about taking ownership of your story without waiting for someone else to cast you. It’s about checking in with yourself like you would a lead role, asking what you need, what’s working, and what’s gotta go. It’s not about curating perfection; it’s about staying aligned with your values, your peace, and your purpose. But here’s the twist, being the main character means being the one who actually maintains the plot. You don’t just become her and then coast. You choose her again and again. On the days when you wake up exhausted. When self-doubt is loud. When the plan falls through. You choose to show up anyway, in a way that honors your capacity. That’s the part nobody glamorizes, because it’s not glamorous. It’s slow. It’s repetitive. It’s a daily check-in with the version of you you’re becoming. Baddie. bootcamp vibes! This is also where discipline sneaks in, not the annoying hustle kind, but the kind that reminds you you’re worth showing up for. The kind that says, “I deserve routines that nourish me, not punish me.” The kind that keeps your vision grounded even when your motivation dips. Because being a main character isn’t about attention. It’s about intention. It’s about directing your own narrative instead of outsourcing your self-worth to how others perceive it. So if you’ve been craving that main character feeling, but your life still looks like messy bun, full inbox, can’t find the right lighting kind of chaos, congrats, you’re doing it right. Real main character energy isn’t picture perfect. It’s honest. It’s showing up anyway. And sometimes, it’s knowing when to pause the plot to regroup. You are worthy of a soft life that doesn’t perform for applause, but settles into something real.

The pressure to always be in motion, always be improving, always be “on” is loud. Especially when you’re ambitious, creative, or constantly balancing multiple versions of yourself to survive different spaces. But here’s the thing: your pace is not a problem. And your story is not on pause just because it’s not being watched. You are still evolving, even when it feels slow. You are still worthy, even when you are not performing. And you are still powerful, even when your path is unclear. A soft life is not about giving up. It’s about giving yourself grace. It’s about learning how to keep moving without abandoning yourself in the process. It’s about choosing rituals that center your joy instead of your productivity. It’s about building a relationship with yourself that is rooted in trust, not fear of falling behind. That’s the kind of radical self-care that sustains real transformation. Not just the glow up, but the inner grounding that helps you keep going when the glow wears off. So whether your current season feels like a montage moment or a plot twist you didn’t see coming, you’re still the one in control of the narrative. Not because everything is perfect, but because you’re showing up for yourself anyway. Because you’re deciding what matters to you. Because you’re learning how to choose peace, not just chase outcomes. That’s what this era is really about. Not being the loudest or most put together. Just being present, honest, and intentional about what you’re building. Take your time. Take up space. And take care of your future self by honoring your present needs. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just in a season of building something softer and that is more than enough. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!