#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS Have you ever noticed how easy it is to fall into the trap of being busy for the sake of being busy? Like suddenly your calendar is packed, your notes app has fifteen running lists, and you’re convincing yourself that this is just what adulthood looks like. But deep down, you know something feels off. You’re checking boxes and staying booked, but you’re also exhausted, disconnected, and weirdly resentful of your own schedule. That’s not just burnout, it’s a red flag. That its bout to be a what? Grrrl fight! Somewhere along the way, many of us started equating being busy with being valuable. We learned that productivity equals purpose, and that constant motion must mean we’re moving in the right direction. But what if that’s not true? What if the urge to always be doing is really just a distraction? What if we’re filling our time so we don’t have to sit with the stillness? And what if our obsession with output is actually robbing us of the presence, peace, and perspective we claim to be chasing? Grrrl, I say this with love: busyness is not a personality trait. And it’s definitely not a substitute for self-worth. It might get you applause in the short term, but it won’t help you feel grounded or fulfilled in the long run. This month, we’re taking a hard look at the performance of productivity and what it costs us when we treat our calendars like proof of our value. Not because ambition is bad, but because over-functioning is not a sustainable way to live. We’re allowed to want big things without performing exhaustion to earn them. Let’s start unlearning the lie that doing the most is what makes us matter.

The pressure to stay busy isn’t just cultural, it’s systemic. Black grrrls, in particular, are often expected to be hyper-capable, constantly accommodating, and endlessly available. From the workplace to our social lives, we’re told that excellence is the bare minimum, and rest is a luxury we haven’t earned. But that expectation isn’t rooted in empowerment. It’s rooted in exploitation. When we internalize the idea that we have to overdeliver just to be seen as competent, we start building our worth on the approval of others. And when that approval becomes our fuel, burnout becomes inevitable. The truth is, being “on” all the time doesn’t make you more successful, it just makes you more exhausted. And exhaustion shouldn’t be your baseline. If we’re serious about radical self-care, we have to stop confusing high-functioning with healed. This means giving ourselves permission to pause, not because we’re collapsing, but because we’re choosing to be present. It means honoring our needs before they scream at us. It means redefining what it looks like to be well, not just in body, but in spirit. You’re allowed to unsubscribe from grind culture without abandoning your goals. You can still be ambitious and crave rest. You can still care deeply and set boundaries. And you can absolutely pursue success without sacrificing your peace. This week’s post is a reminder that you don’t need to be busy to be worthy. You don’t need to be overwhelmed to be productive. And you don’t need to perform your value to prove it.

Dont Buy In

Let’s go ahead and keep it real: hustle culture is a scam grrrls! And not even a clever one. It’s the kind of scam that gaslights you into thinking exhaustion is noble and overwork is a character trait. You know that weird voice in your head that tells you you’re lazy if you don’t take on that extra task? The one that pats you on the back for canceling plans because “you’re grinding.”? The one that whispers, “Sleep is for weenies!!” Yeah… that voice isn’t your intuition. That’s capitalism talking. Clock Itttttt! And more often than not, it’s talking loudest to us. Black grrrls, femmes, and anyone who’s ever been expected to carry more than their share have been fed this lie for generations. Our grandparents had to work twice as hard. Our parents were taught to stay twice as long. And now here we are, burned out, booked, and still believing that if we just keep going, someone will finally see us and say, “You’ve done enough.” But that moment isn’t coming if we don’t claim it ourselves. When you grow up thinking value equals output, it’s hard to imagine a life that’s not centered around proving something. But that’s exactly the life we’re trying to build. A life where presence matters more than performance. Where rest isn’t earned, it’s honored. Where your calendar isn’t a scoreboard, and your body isn’t collateral damage in your own pursuit of success. You deserve more than a nap after burnout. You deserve a lifestyle that never leads you there in the first place. And no, that doesn’t mean quitting your job or ghosting your responsibilities. It means learning to recognize when the pressure to perform is louder than your own voice. It means practicing discernment between what’s urgent and what’s actually important. It means releasing the fear that if you stop moving, everything will fall apart. Spoiler alert: it won’t. And even if it did, you’d still be worthy. So here’s your reminder: the grind is not your birthright. It’s a system. And systems can be unlearned. You don’t have to prove your humanity through your hustle. You don’t have to justify your joy with a résumé. You don’t have to earn your way to rest. You already deserve it!

Slow And Steady

Somewhere along the way, we got tricked into thinking that moving slowly meant we weren’t moving at all. Like progress only counts if it’s loud, fast, or documented with a color-coded tracker. Or a fire IG pic! But let’s be real, how many of us are actually thriving under that pressure? Grrrl, half the time we’re just surviving with a smile. Slowness is not stagnation. It’s a recalibration. And sometimes the most radical thing you can do for yourself is to take your time. Like actually take it back from the grind, the guilt, and the constant narrative that you’re only as valuable as your pace. Because what’s the point of “keeping up” if you have no idea where you’re even going? We live in a world that glorifies urgency. Productivity apps, 5 a.m. routines, “rise and grind” culture, it all implies that moving faster is the same thing as moving forward. But that’s not always true. Sometimes rushing leads you right back to the same cycles you’ve been trying to break. Sometimes momentum without intention is just chaos with a calendar invite. And sometimes the reason things feel off isn’t because you’re behind. It’s because you’ve never had the space to actually figure out what you want, outside of what everyone else expects. Slowing down can feel scary because it forces you to be present. You can’t distract yourself with tasks or deadlines. You have to sit with your feelings, your thoughts, and your truth. And that takes courage. So if you’ve been questioning your pace lately, let me offer this: a long pause is still progress. You are not behind just because you’re not in a rush. You are not lazy because you took a nap. You are not lost just because your journey doesn’t look like everyone else’s. In fact, that might be the clearest sign that you’re on the right path, one that’s actually yours. Slowness invites clarity. It makes space for curiosity. And it opens the door for joy to enter.You don’t owe anyone your burnout. You don’t have to sacrifice your wellbeing just to be seen as committed. And you certainly don’t need to speed up to catch up. What you need is rhythm, not urgency. What you deserve is peace, not performance. So let them lap you if they want. You’re not running their race anyway. You’re building something sustainable. Something honest. Something real.

Pushin (P)roductivity

Let’s be real, half the stuff we call productive isn’t even actually helping us. Answering work emails at 11 p.m.? Performing. Pushing through a migraine to make a meeting? Performing. Volunteering for extra projects so no one can question your commitment? Performing! Somewhere along the line, we stopped asking what success looks like to us and started performing what we thought it was supposed to be. Especially if you’ve ever felt underestimated at work, overlooked in your field, or like you have to do twice as much just to be seen as average. You know the drill. For so many Black grrrls and femmes, productivity became a shield. A way to stay safe, to stay respected, to stay needed. But at what cost? We’re so used to productivity being measured by output that we rarely pause to ask whether it’s aligned. Aligned with our goals. Aligned with our energy. Aligned with who we’re becoming. What if being productive could also mean resting when your body asks you to? Or saying no to a gig that doesn’t pay enough? Or blocking out two hours to brainstorm ideas you might not use, but just need to get out of your head? That’s creative labor too. That’s future-you prep. That’s worth honoring. But because it doesn’t come with deliverables or applause, it’s easy to dismiss. Real productivity should feel like movement with purpose, not panic. And if your “productive day” ends with you too tired to feed yourself or text your best friend back, maybe that day wasn’t as productive as it seemed. Maybe we’ve been applauding the wrong things. Because being busy is easy. Anyone can fill a calendar. What’s hard, and honestly what’s brave, is choosing what matters before it becomes urgent. That’s a skill. And it’s one that comes from self-trust, not just time management.Let this be your reminder: You’re not a machine. You’re a human being with needs, limits, dreams, and rhythms that deserve respect. Including from yourself.

You don’t owe anyone proof of your worth, not your boss, not your followers, not even your past self. If you’ve been caught in the loop of chasing validation through performance, know this: you’re not broken. You’ve just been surviving in a system that rewards burnout and calls it ambition. But you don’t have to keep playing that game. You can opt out. You can rewrite the rules. And you can start today, even if all you do is breathe deeper and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Because that’s the real flex, being tuned in to your own pace, your own values, and your own value. This isn’t about quitting your job or abandoning your goals. It’s about learning to measure success by how it feels, not just how it looks. It’s about honoring your energy instead of outsourcing your self-worth to a calendar full of commitments. It’s about choosing presence over performance. That might mean taking breaks before you’re on empty, turning down things that sound impressive but don’t feel right, or just letting yourself be without a side hustle attached to it. There will always be people who equate rest with laziness or quiet seasons with failure. Let them. You’re not here to live their version of success. You’re here to create a life that reflects your actual capacity and your actual joy. So take a breath. Step back. Choose ease where you can. And remember: the world won’t stop spinning if you do. But your body might finally exhale. You’ve got nothing to prove, and everything to gain by coming back home to yourself. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!