#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS has anyone ever called you too much? Too loud, too opinionated, too emotional, too ambitious, too anything? If you have ever been told to tone it down, play it cool, or shrink yourself to make other people comfortable, you are not alone. Black grrrls especially hear this message all the time. We are expected to be strong but not intimidating, confident but not cocky, outspoken but not too outspoken. It is exhausting. And the worst part? Many of us start believing that we really are too much for the world to handle. But what if the problem is not that you are too much. What if the real issue is that the world is too small to hold everything you are. There is nothing wrong with being passionate, expressive, or bold about what you want. There is nothing wrong with taking up space, standing out, or refusing to fit into a box that was never meant for you. The truth is, the people who tell you that you are too much usually just can’t keep up. And that is not your problem to fix. You were not made to be palatable or easy to digest. You were made to be fully and unapologetically yourself. Instead of trying to dim your light, what if you embraced it. What if you decided that your energy, your presence, and your voice are not things to apologize for but things to celebrate.

For too long, Black grrrls have been told to make themselves smaller. We are raised to be polite, agreeable, and easy to love. We are taught to read the room before we take up space in it and to soften our edges so we do not intimidate or inconvenience anyone. But let’s be real. The world has never been uncomfortable with us being too much. It has always been uncomfortable with us being too free. Too free to express ourselves, too free to set boundaries, too free to shine without shame. And if history has taught us anything, it is that the people who create change, shake things up, and actually live life on their own terms are never the ones who play small. They are the ones who refuse to shrink. Being called too much is not an insult. It is a sign that you are pushing past the limits people tried to put on you. And yes, not everyone will understand or appreciate your full self. Some people will think you are too opinionated. Some will think you are too sensitive. Some will think you are doing the most when you are simply existing in a way that feels right for you. But that is the thing about being fully yourself. You are not meant for everyone. You are meant for the people who see you, love you, and celebrate you exactly as you are. And the only way to find those people is to stop pretending to be anything less than everything you were made to be.

Living Out Loud

One of the biggest lies we are told is that we need to tone ourselves down to be taken seriously. That confidence is only acceptable in small, digestible doses. That speaking your mind will make you difficult. That standing out will make you a target. But here is the truth. The people who tell you to shrink are usually the same ones who are intimidated by your full power. They are not trying to help you. They are trying to control you. And if they can convince you to be smaller, quieter, or less certain in yourself, they do not have to deal with the reality of how big you truly are. Owning your presence is about understanding that you do not have to ask for permission to take up space. You do not have to downplay your talents to make other people feel comfortable. You do not have to hide parts of yourself to be more “likable.” You were not put on this earth to be small. You were put here to be exactly as vibrant, bold, and dynamic as you feel called to be. And if that makes some people uncomfortable, that is their burden to carry Think about the people you admire most. The ones who inspire you, shake up rooms, and walk with their heads held high. Are they apologizing for being too much? No. Because they know that the right people will always embrace them as they are. They know that real confidence comes from showing up fully, even when the world tries to make you doubt yourself. You do not have to be loud to be powerful. You do not have to be extroverted to own your presence. But you do have to stop second-guessing whether you deserve to take up space. Because you do.

Feeling is Healing

One of the most common ways people try to shut Black grrrls down is by calling us too emotional. We are told to calm down, toughen up, or stop taking things so personally. But the real question is, why is feeling things deeply seen as a flaw? Since when did caring become something to be ashamed of? The truth is, your emotions are not a weakness. They are a superpower. Having strong feelings means you are tapped in. It means you care. People who are uncomfortable with emotions are often the same ones who have been taught to suppress their own. They have convinced themselves that feeling deeply is something to be controlled, rather than something to be embraced. But feeling nothing is not strength. Pretending not to care is not power. The people who have the greatest impact are the ones who allow themselves to be moved, inspired, and changed by what they experience. Instead of trying to be less sensitive, what if you leaned into it? What if you stopped apologizing for feeling things fully? What if you let yourself be passionate, outspoken, and affected by the things that matter to you? That is what real self-acceptance looks like. You are allowed to cry when something hurts. You are allowed to get excited when something makes you happy. You are allowed to feel things in a way that is big, loud, and completely unapologetic. Your ability to care is what makes you powerful. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. The next time someone tries to call you too much for having feelings, remember this. The world needs more people who care. The world needs more people who are willing to speak up, show love, and fight for what matters. The world needs more people like you.

Take Up Space

For every person who has told you that you are too much, there is a space waiting for you where you are just right. The problem is, too many of us try to force ourselves to fit into spaces that were never meant for us. But no matter how much you try to adjust, the wrong people will always make you feel like you are taking up too much space. The issue was never that you were too much. The issue was that they were not enough to hold everything you are. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stop trying to fit into places that cannot contain you. If a friendship makes you feel like you have to shrink, it is not for you. If a relationship makes you feel like you have to be quieter, softer, or less of who you are at your core, it is not for you. If a job makes you feel like your ideas are too big, your personality is too strong, or your confidence is a problem, it is not for you. The right spaces will never make you feel like you need to apologize for existing exactly as you are. Finding a bigger room is not about changing yourself. It is about aligning yourself with people, places, and opportunities that embrace your fullness. It is about surrounding yourself with people who do not just tolerate your energy but love it. The friendships that make you feel safe to be your whole self. The spaces where your ideas are not seen as too much but as visionary. The people who hear you speak and do not tell you to calm down but tell you to say more. Those spaces exist. Those people exist. And the sooner you stop settling for places that make you feel small, the sooner you will find them.

So if someone tells you that you are too much, take it as a compliment. You are not meant to blend in. You are not meant to be easy to digest. You are not meant to be a watered-down version of yourself just to make other people comfortable. The people who get it will get it. And the ones who do not were never meant to be in your orbit anyway. The world does not need less of you. It needs you exactly as you are. Being too much is not a bad thing. It is a sign that you are living fully, expressing yourself freely, and refusing to shrink for anyone. The people who try to make you feel like you are taking up too much space are usually the ones who do not know how to handle your brilliance. But that is not your problem to fix. You were not made to be smaller. You were made to be exactly who you are, in all of your bold, expressive, and powerful energy. The sooner you stop apologizing for that, the sooner you will find the spaces, people, and opportunities that celebrate you instead of trying to contain you. So let this be your reminder. You do not have to tone yourself down, quiet your voice, or shrink your dreams just to make other people comfortable. You are allowed to be passionate. You are allowed to be sensitive. You are allowed to be loud, confident, ambitious, and completely unfiltered in your self-expression. The right people will never ask you to be less. The right spaces will never feel too small for your energy. And the right version of you will always be the one that feels the most free. Now go and be great, you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!