#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS Have you ever caught yourself shrinking in real time? Like, you start to speak up in a meeting, and then immediately second guess your tone, your wording, and pretty much your entire existence? Or maybe you’re out with friends and someone gives you a compliment, and instead of saying thank you, you deflect, downplay, or pivot the conversation entirely. That subtle retreat, that internal urge to make yourself just a little smaller, isn’t always about humility. Sometimes it’s survival. For so many of us, especially Black grrrls moving through spaces that were never built with us in mind, dimming our light becomes a reflex. We get so used to managing other people’s comfort that we start disconnecting from our own shine. And even when no one’s asking us to shrink, we still pre-shrink just in case. But let’s be real: you were never meant to be easily digestible. You were never meant to shrink in order to fit someone else’s frame. Your brilliance isn’t “too much,” and your voice isn’t a liability. In fact, your light might be the very thing someone else needed to see to feel safe using theirs. So if you’ve been playing small because it feels safer, you’re not alone, but you’re also not stuck. You don’t have to keep editing yourself out of your own life. This blog is your invitation to unlearn the habit of shrinking and start practicing what it means to fully take up space. Not with apology, not with overexplanation, but with intention, clarity, and confidence. Because taking up space isn’t arrogance, it’s alignment. And you deserve to feel the full stretch of your own power without guilt, shame, or hesitation.

We live in a world that praises Black grrrls for our resilience but rarely makes room for our radiance. We’re expected to lead, organize, support, and show up but only if we do it quietly. Only if we’re not “too loud,” “too confident,” “too opinionated,” or “too proud.” The second we take up space without softening the edges or explaining ourselves, we’re labeled intimidating, difficult, or arrogant. And over time, that feedback loop starts to work its way into our self-image. We get so used to contorting ourselves to fit expectations that we forget what it even feels like to move freely. But here’s the thing: playing small doesn’t protect you. It just exhausts you. Shrinking for acceptance only teaches people that you’ll accept less. And that’s not the lesson we’re here to teach. This month on the blog, we’re reclaiming space, not just physical space, but emotional and energetic space too. Because taking up space doesn’t always look like being the loudest voice in the room. Sometimes it looks like honoring your boundaries, saying no without guilt, or choosing rest when everyone else is grinding. It’s about standing fully in who you are without needing to edit or dilute. And yes, that might ruffle a few feathers, but that’s not your problem to solve. The goal isn’t to be palatable. The goal is to be powerful, present, and whole. If you’ve been quietly holding yourself back or waiting for someone to give you permission to shine, let this be your sign. The room is already yours. You don’t have to tiptoe through it. You were made to expand. Period.

Shrinking to Fit

How many times have you swallowed your opinion to keep the peace? Or pretended not to care so you wouldn’t look “too emotional”? Or turned down a compliment because confidence felt too risky? We’ve been trained to make ourselves smaller in ways we don’t even realize. It’s not just about what we say, it’s about how we move, how we dress, how we apologize for simply being. And the wildest part? We think we’re doing it to protect ourselves. But really, we’re just reinforcing the lie that we have to earn the right to be seen. The world has done a really good job convincing us that confident Black grrrls are a danger. And for centuries, they tried to make sure we never got too comfortable. But guess what? You’re still here. Still shining. Still taking up space, whether you realize it or not. So why not own it? The truth is, dimming your light doesn’t make other people more comfortable, it just makes you disappear. And we need you visible. Fully. Fiercely. Not watered down to meet someone else’s expectations. Taking up space is about more than showing off or being loud. Unless that’s your vibe! It’s about choosing yourself, unapologetically, in every room you enter. It’s the quiet power of knowing you belong without needing permission. It’s the radical act of trusting your own voice, even if it shakes. Especially if it shakes. Because showing up scared is still showing up. And that’s where real power lives, not in perfection, but in presence. So if you’ve been dimming your light to make other people comfortable, I need you to know this: you were never meant to fit in. You were meant to stand out. And your light? It was never too much. It was exactly enough to wake the world up.

You ARE The Moment

You ever notice how the people who command the most attention usually aren’t doing the most? They’re just fully themselves. That’s the magic. It’s not about chasing spotlight energy, it’s about recognizing that you are the spotlight. You don’t have to perform, prove, or pretend. You just have to be. But that’s easier said than done when you’ve been taught that confidence is cocky, or that being proud of yourself makes you vain. Especially as a Black grrrl or femme, where everything we do is seen through a distorted lens. Too loud. Too bold. Too much. So we shrink. We second-guess. We try to soften the edges of our power so we don’t get labeled difficult, dramatic, or worse. But the truth is, the people who are uncomfortable with your presence were never going to clap for your light anyway. So why let them write the script? Taking up space isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about removing the layers that made you feel like you had to hide. It’s not an aesthetic or a curated vibe. It’s not about having the perfect words or the perfect fit. It’s about showing up as yourself, even if your voice shakes, your eyeliner smudges, and your day didn’t go how you planned. It’s about showing up anyway. When you realize that your presence is a gift, not a disruption, you stop asking for permission to exist out loud. You walk into rooms like you deserve to be there, because you do. Not because of your résumé. Not because you said the right thing. But because you are. So if you’ve been waiting for a sign to start showing up more fully, this is it. You don’t need a bigger platform or a new personality. You just need to remember who the hell you are. And once you do? The whole world shifts.

The Audacity

Sometimes the boldest thing you can do is believe in yourself on purpose. Not quietly. Not with disclaimers. But fully, publicly, and without apology. That’s not arrogance, it’s clarity. And for a lot of us, that kind of clarity feels radical because we’ve been socialized to second guess our power. To wait for someone to validate it. But let me say it plain: nobody can authorize your worth. Not your boss. Not your boo. Not your followers. That’s your job. And yes, it might feel unnatural at first. Especially if you’ve spent most of your life trying not to rock the boat, or worrying about how to make everyone else feel comfortable. But radical self-care means choosing yourself even when it’s awkward. Even when it makes other people squirm. Especially then. Because shrinking yourself to fit someone else’s expectations is a full-time job with no benefits. And I promise, you weren’t put here to be palatable. You were put here to be powerful. When you stop trying to be easy to digest, you free yourself to be real. That’s when the magic starts. That’s when you find the people who actually see you, not the version you curated, but the full, messy, brilliant truth of who you are. That kind of visibility is a risk, yes. But it’s also a portal. It’s how you stop surviving and start living. This is your reminder that taking up space doesn’t have to look like shouting from the rooftops. Sometimes it’s a soft refusal. A quiet boundary. A full-bodied yes to something you used to second guess. The audacity isn’t just in being seen, it’s in deciding that being seen doesn’t have to cost you your peace. So let them call you bold. Let them call you dramatic. Let them call you too much. That just means you’re finally showing up.

Here’s the truth, grrrls, you were never meant to be background noise. You were never meant to squeeze into boxes that were too small for your spirit. And the moment you stop apologizing for taking up space is the moment everything shifts. People might get uncomfortable. They might question your choices, your tone, your timing. But that’s not your burden to carry. You’re not too loud, you’ve just been quiet for too long. And you’re not too much, you’ve just been holding back more of yourself than you needed to. What’s “too much” anyway but someone else’s limit being projected onto your expansion? Taking up space isn’t about arrogance or ego. It’s about alignment. It’s about honoring your full self, not just the parts that are easy for others to accept. And when you move in that energy, you start attracting experiences, people, and opportunities that actually fit. That actually see you. That actually hold you up instead of holding you back. You don’t have to hustle for that kind of belonging. You just have to be brave enough to show up as you are. So this week, I hope you walk a little taller. I hope you say the thing you’ve been holding in. I hope you choose the outfit that makes you feel powerful. I hope you trust that your presence matters because it does. Every time you take up space without shrinking, you make it easier for the next grrrly pop to do the same. That’s the ripple effect of radical self-care. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!