#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS there’s something about the word “phase” that always feels lowkey shady. Like when someone says “she’s just going through a phase,” it’s usually code for temporary, unserious, or something we’ll eventually grow out of. But what if that’s actually the point? What if growth is supposed to be a phase? What if the fact that we’re always changing isn’t a flaw, but a sign that we’re alive, paying attention, and letting life shape us? Cue the montage music! We’re taught to view personal evolution like a checklist. You level up, fix your flaws, find your purpose, and then suddenly you’re this finished version of yourself with no more growing pains. But that’s not how it works. You don’t “arrive.” You shift. You experiment. You question things you used to believe. You try on new values, new routines, new ways of seeing yourself. And sometimes those shifts stick forever. Sometimes they don’t. That’s not failure. That’s what it means to be human. This post is for the grrrls who are in between versions. The ones who feel weird about changing their minds. The ones who are trying something new but still figuring out if it fits. The ones who keep evolving and feel guilty about not staying the same. You don’t owe anyone consistency if it comes at the cost of your truth.

This blog post is about embracing your evolution, even when it feels messy, inconsistent, or hard to explain. Growth is not a straight line. It is a loop. A remix. A constant state of becoming. And that can feel uncomfortable when you are used to measuring your worth by how stable or certain everything looks. But uncertainty doesn’t mean you are lost. It often means you are in a space of possibility, of trying something new without needing to perfect it right away. You’re not flaky, you’re just flexible! We are not meant to be the same person in every season of life. That includes the versions of you that people loved, the ones they misunderstood, the ones you had to leave behind. All of them were real. All of them mattered. And none of them cancel out the version you are becoming now. The pressure to “be consistent” can make us cling to identities, habits, or roles that no longer fit. But holding on just to feel stable is not the same as being grounded. In this blog, we’re exploring what it looks like to normalize change, especially the kind that isn’t linear or easy to explain. We’re breaking up with the myth of always having to know who you are and learning how to make peace with phases, pivots, and in-between seasons. Whether you’re in a new era, a soft reset, or a full-on identity shift, you deserve space to change without having to justify it.

In My Something Era

We love a good era. Healing era, soft life era, “I’m not texting back” era. But sometimes, the minute we claim one, we feel pressure to keep it up—even when it stops feeling aligned. We start wondering if we’re being fake for switching it up. Like, can I still be in my soft era if I just cursed someone out in traffic? Can I still be that grrrl if I had a full meltdown before noon? And the answer is yes. Because eras are not identities. They are seasons. They’re temporary spaces for growth, experimentation, and expression. They are meant to shift. Hello and Buh-Bye! When you’re evolving, you might not land on a perfect version of yourself. You might not even know what you’re evolving into. That’s okay. Some seasons are for trying things on. Some are for letting go. Some are just about surviving long enough to even think about what you want next. Growth is rarely about clarity right away. It’s about honesty. It’s about letting yourself move differently without rushing to define what it means. So if you’re in your something era, your radical self-care era, your “I’m not doing the most” era, your “lowkey and letting life surprise me era”—own it. Even if it only lasts a few weeks. Even if it’s messy. Even if it looks different every day. There is power in being present with where you are instead of trying to script where you’re going. You are not inconsistent for changing. You are not unreliable for evolving. You are growing in real time. And that means giving yourself permission to outgrow what once fit, try on what might fit next, and release the pressure to get it all right the first time.

Your Growth Is For You

We live in a world that wants us to treat our identity like a business plan. Pick a lane. Stick to it. Build a brand around it. Monetize the glow-up. And once you do, stay consistent, because apparently, changing your mind is bad for business. But you are not a brand. You are a person. A full, complex, evolving human being. And your growth is not a product for other people to consume or understand. Especially for Black grrrls, there’s this constant pressure to show up polished and complete. You’re expected to be inspirational, unproblematic, wise beyond your years, always healing in a way that’s easy to digest. But that pressure can keep you stuck in a version of yourself that no longer fits. Because once people get used to one version of you, they expect you to stay there forever. Let’s be honest, sometimes we keep performing a past version of ourselves because it’s easier than explaining who we’re becoming. But you don’t owe anyone a consistent character arc. You’re allowed to be inconsistent. You’re allowed to shift your values, update your boundaries, and change your goals. Let your hair down grrrl! That’s not confusion. That’s evolution. You don’t have to perform your growth for anyone else to believe it’s real. And you definitely don’t have to explain every pivot. The people who truly support your journey will understand that growth comes with phases. The ones who don’t? They were only comfortable with a version of you that made sense to them. That’s not your problem.

No Time Wasted

Sometimes when we leave a phase behind, we feel like we wasted time. Like all that energy we put into becoming a certain version of ourselves was for nothing because it didn’t last. Just because something didn’t last forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. That routine you stuck with for three months? It taught you something. That relationship you outgrew? It revealed your values. That job you left behind? It gave you the clarity to dream bigger. Growth that ends is still growth. The plot twist was the lesson. You are allowed to look back at old versions of yourself with grace, not shame. Every phase had a purpose. Even the ones that were hard. Even the ones that didn’t end the way you hoped. Even the ones you wouldn’t go back to. That version of you was doing the best she could with what she knew. She was learning. She was surviving. She was setting the foundation for the you that exists right now. The idea that growth should be permanent keeps us stuck. It makes us afraid to experiment, afraid to shift, afraid to change direction once we realize something isn’t working. But the truth is, change is part of the deal. You are not meant to stay the same. And letting go of a phase that no longer fits is not failure, it’s self-awareness. It’s courage. It’s proof that you are still in motion. So if you’re moving out of a chapter that once felt like everything, know that it served its purpose. You don’t need to regret it or overexplain it. You can thank it and move on. The point was never to get it perfect. The point was to keep growing!

You do not have to hold onto every phase to prove that it mattered. You are allowed to change your mind, shift your focus, and evolve without apology. Growth is not about being one fixed version of yourself forever. It is about allowing yourself to respond to life with curiosity, flexibility, and compassion. The grrrl you were five years ago, five months ago, or even five minutes ago? She got you here. And the grrrl you are now? She gets to decide what comes next. You do not owe anyone a linear journey. You are not less powerful just because your path is winding. You are allowed to pivot, to reset, to outgrow what once felt like home. If you’re in between chapters, in a blurry transition, or simply figuring things out one moment at a time, that’s not a setback. That is sacred. That is part of becoming. There is no final form. No flawless version of you waiting at the finish line. There is only now. And the more grace you give yourself to move through your phases without judgment, the more free you become. So say thank you to the era that’s ending. Honor the one that’s beginning. And trust that even when it feels uncertain, your growth is still happening. You are still unfolding. And that will always be enough. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop. TTYL.