#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS Happy holiday season to everyone celebrating this winter! This is a time for family, fun, trying to stay warm, and obviously giving—but if I’m going to keep it all the way real (as I always do), the main person I’ve been thinking about giving to is myself. Is that soo bad?? Please, please, please, Before you go putting me on trial for selfish behavior, let me just say this: I SWEAR I’m not a villain! I’m mostly nice and very rarely naughty. (I even checked twice—Black Santa, if you’re reading this, please confirm.) Here’s the thing, grrrls: We have been on this radical self-care journey together for almost a year now. That’s 12 whole months of learning, unlearning, and rediscovering what it means to show up for ourselves unapologetically. We’ve talked about why prioritizing yourself and your pleasure is not just important but necessary. And guess what? With a new year just around the corner, I think it’s time we really commit to this idea without feeling bad about it! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still here for the warm and fuzzy vibes, the gift exchanges, and the “you shouldn’t have!” moments. But I’m also here to remind you that giving to yourself isn’t selfish; it’s smart.

Let’s be real: prioritizing yourself can feel awkward—like you’re breaking some kind of unspoken rule about always putting others first. And, honestly, that’s the problem. Society, mass media, the internet (whoever else you want to blame) has done an aaaamazing job of convincing us that self-care is selfish, especially during the holidays. Between the endless commercials about giving your all to everyone but yourself, the pressure to RSVP to every event, and the guilt trips from frenemies who think you owe them your time and energy, it’s no wonder we feel like the villain when we say “no” or put ourselves first. But here’s the truth, grrrls: you can’t pour eggnog from an empty cup or #NiceGrrrlEnergy either! That’s why this season isn’t just about giving to others, it’s about learning balance. And that means giving yourself the time, energy, and love you deserve, too. So, if you’ve ever hesitated to choose yourself because you didn’t want to feel like the Grinch, let me remind you: you’re not the villain of this story—you’re the main character. When they said joy to the world, that included you too grrrl!

Did Someone Selfish?

Let’s talk about this whole “selfish” narrative for a second. Somewhere along the way, prioritizing yourself has somehow become the ultimate betrayal—as if you’re suddenly rubbing your hands like Birdman and plotting to ruin everyone’s day the second you say “no.” But let me remind you: setting boundaries or putting your needs first doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you self-aware. The truth is, this whole idea of self-sacrifice being the “noble” choice is just another way to keep people, especially grrrls, running on empty for everyone else’s benefit. You’re allowed to protect your peace without guilt. Saying “no” to things that drain you doesn’t mean you’re evil! It means you’re prioritizing your own peace and making more time for plotting world domination- I mean world peace. For example, a few weeks ago I could have easily spent my last three brain cells, my last drops of energy, and three billion dollars on Ubers, dresses, hair, make up, and a stunt double to go to a few holiday invites that I recieved, but instead I decided to play hooky and stay home with a cozy blanket and a cheesy Netflix rom-com. Selfish? More like SURVIVAL! That’s not selfish; that’s survival. It was revolutionary, like I promise you my life has never been the same! ou’re allowed to choose what serves you and leave the rest.

Whatever YOU Like

Choosing yourself doesn’t mean opting out of everything. It just means getting intentional about doing what matters to YOU. A few weeks ago, I started intermittent fasting, which is less about what you eat but more about when you eat it, although I have made a greater effort to eat cleaner too. Things have been going great but this is probably the worst time to start my new clean eating journey since I just celebrated a birthday, Christmas is tomorrow, and NYE is not too far behind but it’s important to ME that I make these changes as soon as possible to feel as best as I can. Obviously this has been a little awkward when people are side eyeing me about turning down birthday cake but I literally cannot delay living my life for myself any longer and I seriously think starting my radical self-care journey with you grrrls was the start of that realization. So, instead of bending over backward to meet unrealistic expectations, why not prioritize your own self care? Make yourself a “holiday survival plan” with self-care built in. For example, I knew the war between my new diet and holiday cookies and cakes would be hard. Ho Ho NO! I’m just a grrrl and I’m clearly out numbered by a few baker’s dozens. Which is why I went on a solo mission to the store for some fresh fruits and veggies. Yes, I have had a sweet treat here and there but I’ve also had fresh kale, carrots, grapes, grilled chicken, and strawberries which is completely unprecedented and an absolute win for me!

The Gift of Giving

If you are still having a hard time rationalizing centering your own wants and needs during a season of life I completely understand. Maybe you have a lot of people that depend on you, maybe all that self-awareness sounds overwhelming, or maybe you still believe that if you make other people mad that you’ll end up with a lump of coal in your stockings. Panty-hoes! Prioritizing yourself isn’t just good for you; it’s actually a win for everyone around you. Think about it: when you’re running on empty, it’s harder to be present, patient, or even remotely pleasant. But when you take the time to recharge and take care of yourself, you show up as your best self! On my birthday everybody spoke soo highly of me, which was soo beautiful and heartfelt. One of the things that they said that took me by surprise was that watching me learn how to be more open and authentically myself has given them the courage and motivation to do the same… umm literally best gift ever? All I’ve ever wanted to do with Grrrl, Get Real is to help people. Over the past year sometimes it gets tough putting myself out there and not being about to see a tangible difference like ending world hunger, or creating world peace. The acknowledgement that I recieved on my birthday felt like the last little kick in the booty to continue to trust my intuition and express myself! Giving yourself the gift of giving is more than a fun tongue twister, it’s a form of radical self-care. When you prioritize yourself, you also set an example for those around you. Whether it’s your friends, family, or grrrlfrenns, they’ll see you choosing your peace and feel empowered to do the same.

As we wrap up this wild, wonderful year and dive headfirst into the chaos of the holidays, let’s make a promise to ourselves: no more guilt for putting our needs first. It’s not selfish—it’s survival, it’s self-awareness, and most importantly, it’s the foundation of your radical self-care journey. If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this radical self-care journey, it’s that you are worthy of your own time, energy, and love. Prioritizing yourself isn’t just about survival—it’s about creating space for the best version of you to thrive. I know it can feel daunting, especially during a season that pressures us to give, give, give without a second thought. But you’ve already proven to yourself that you’re capable of showing up for your needs. You’ve set boundaries, practiced self-awareness, and learned to say “no” when something didn’t serve you. Now it’s time to double down! You’ve worked so hard this past year to show up for yourself and create a life that feels good to live. Why stop now? As we head into the new year, let this holiday season be a time for you to give yourself the same energy you’ve been giving everyone else. Whether it’s taking a quiet moment to sip your favorite drink while everyone else is rushing around, checking a few things off of you’re holiday wishlist, or taking a day off that’s just for you. Now go and be great, you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!