#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS We need a quick temperature check in the room! How is everybody feeling? What’s everybody been up to? What did you grrrls have for dinner this week? I need inspo! I always try to be a shining ray of sunshine for the grrrlies to prove that you are not alone and things truly do get better but if you have been a #RealOne since day one or you are just joining there is one thing you HAVE to know about me: I keep it REAL. Last week was brutaaaal! I just had one of those moments where I felt like I was going through the motions instead of actually living and enjoying life, which sucks. When you have anxiety bad days feel like insurmountable boulders weighing you down. So it wasn’t soo much that I was being too hard on myself but then I started replaying all of the times that I have let people cross boundaries and how I want to be better about enforcing them with confidence and I just got upset because I don’t want to let myself down. I know that all I can do is try my best, and also give myself some freakin grace! So I had a major reset, where I have decided to learn to let go, be more decisive, and also center myself in my own life. No more playing it small!!

A major part of me letting go of the past, learning how to move forward, and remaining present is to build new relationships… reciprocal relationships. Maybe because it’s fall, which means it’s time to turn a new leaf? Or maybe I am just finally ready to embrace more change! I know if I am feeling this way my grrrls are ready to move forward too! I want to pay it forward and pave the way for those who need help evaluating the people around them. Nothing can stop you from creating the change that you want to see in your life, because you are completely in control! BIG FAT BUUTTTTT the relationships in your life can influence you and make it easier or harder to stay in the “im totally confident and I’ve got it going on” zone. Whether it’s a romantic partner or a close friendship, sometimes the people in our lives can take more than they give, leaving us emotionally drained. But don’t worry, grrrlies I’m here to help you shine a light on those shadowy figures who might be sneaking through your boundaries. So, grab your stakes, your salt circles, and maybe even a little garlic, because we’re about to confront some spooky behaviors that no one has time for.

The Energy Vampire

Energy vampires are people who drain all of your energy, whether it’s through endless venting, neediness, or just their overall negative vibe. But the real trick with this vampire? They love to strike at night during Netflix and chill sessions. Be careful they bite! Energy Vampires have a way of making every interaction feel like a transaction. They only seem to show up when they want something from you—whether it’s emotional support, attention, or something a little more physical. And while it might feel fun at first to be needed, this relationship quickly becomes exhausting when it’s clear that they’re never going to reciprocate in any meaningful way. Now grrrls, don’t get it twisted, there is nothing wrong with being a caring and supportive person. We all want to be there for our partners and our friends, but when it’s always one sided and you’re constantly giving and they’re constantly taking—it becomes a real strain on your energy. It’s like they’re feeding off of your kindness and leaving you completely burnt out. Which can be dangerous especially if you don’t know how to protect yourself. First, recognize the pattern. Energy Vampires are great at making you feel like you need to be the one who’s always available for them. If you find yourself constantly responding to late-night texts or dropping everything to help them out without getting the same energy back, it’s time to take a step back. Setting clear boundaries is key. Start by saying “no” more often, and see how they react. If they respect your space, great! If not, it’s a sure sign that they were more interested in what you could give them than in you as a person. Also, take note of how you feel after spending time with this person. Do you feel energized and happy, or drained and frustrated? If it’s the latter, it might be time to cut ties, or at least limit your interactions, with this vampire before they leave you emotionally tapped out. And let’s be real, this isn’t Twilight, if they’re only showing up for those late-night hangouts but can’t be bothered to be there for you in the daylight?? It’s time to send that vampire back to their coffin.

The Zombie

Next up, we’ve got the Zombie, and no, I’m not talking about the flesh-eating type. The Zombie represents the person who’s emotionally stuck in the past, constantly dragging their baggage into the present. Whether it’s that knee injury from high school that kept them from going pro (because every guy seems to have that story), or an ex they broke up with three years ago but still can’t stop talking about, the Zombie is all about rehashing old wounds and traumas. The problem with Zombies is that they’re so stuck in their past that they can’t fully show up for the present. They’re constantly bringing up the fact that their life would be so much better if only this or that hadn’t happened. It’s like they’re living in an emotional Groundhog Day, and instead of dealing with their feelings and moving forward, they keep repeating the same tired script. “To be or not to be emotionally unavailable, THAT is the question!” Spare me, Romeo! While it’s totally normal to have a past, the Zombie takes it to the extreme by using their past as an excuse for why they can’t move forward or commit in the present. They’re stuck, and if you’re in a relationship with them, you’re likely to get stuck too. To avoid becoming a zombie victim you have to recognize when someone’s emotional baggage is becoming your problem. When someone’s past prevents them from being fully present in your relationship, that’s a red flag. Also, pay attention to how much time they spend in the past versus how much time they spend planning for the future. Are they always talking about how great things used to be, or are they actively working toward building something new with you? If it feels like you’re stuck in a time loop where nothing ever changes, it’s time to ask yourself if this relationship is really serving you. Don’t let a Zombie drag you down. Their past is their responsibility to deal with, not yours. And remember, anyone who isn’t excited to build a future with you really is brain dead!

The Ghost

Ah, the Ghost, we all know this one too well. At first, things are going great. You’re texting all day, dreaming about your future, and casually window shopping for wedding dresses. And then… poof. THEY VANISH! No texts, no calls, just radio silence. It’s like they’ve dropped off the face of the earth and now they’re floating in outerspace. Does Jupiter have cell service? The Ghost isn’t just someone who disappears physically—they’re also emotionally unavailable. Even when they are around, it’s like you’re dating your phone instead of an actual person. They flake on plans, make excuses, and leave you questioning whether you’re overthinking things when they gaslight you into believing nothing’s wrong. Spoiler alert: it is wrong, and their disappearing act is just a way of avoiding any real connection or accountability. The first thing to realize is that when someone ghosts you, it says everything about them and nothing about you. Ghosting is a coward’s way out, it’s like the emotional equivalent of hiding under a sheet and hoping you won’t be seen. It’s also a sign that this person isn’t capable of handling mature communication or being honest about their intentions. If you’re currently dealing with a Ghost, it’s important to resist the urge to chase them. Let them drift away—because trust me, someone who can’t show up for you consistently isn’t worth the emotional energy. Instead, focus on building relationships with people who respect your time and your feelings. Your love, your time, your energy, your space, your feelings, and your body are NOT to be taken advantage of. There is no revolving door with unlimited access to you. If any ghosts start to circle the block and giving lame speeches about how their ready to be better……. Grrrl. Tell them you can see right through them and show them the door!

Now that we’ve unmasked these relationship monsters, it’s time to take back your power. Whether you’re dealing with an Energy Vampire, a Zombie, or a Ghost, the key is to remember that you control the boundaries in your life. It’s not about shutting people out or being cold—it’s about protecting your energy, your time, and your heart. You’re not obligated to give anyone more of yourself than they deserve, and you certainly don’t owe anyone access to your life if they aren’t contributing to your well-being. When it comes to relationships—romantic or platonic—you deserve to be surrounded by people who pour into you, not just take what they need and leave you empty. Your energy is precious, and it’s your responsibility to guard it. Setting boundaries isn’t a sign of weakness or selfishness; it’s an act of radical self-care, and it’s a statement of how much you value yourself. Think of it like building a force field around your happiness and peace of mind—only those who honor and respect your space can come through. Set your boundaries, communicate your needs, and most importantly, stay true to yourself. Boundaries are not walls—they’re guidelines that tell others how you expect to be treated. The people who genuinely care for you will respect those guidelines and make an effort to honor them. The people who don’t will eventually fade into the background. Don’t chase after anyone who disappears, don’t beg for anyone’s time or energy. Instead, invest in the people who show up without having to be asked, who see your worth without needing constant reminders. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!