#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS by now I wanted to be writing about how to walk on sunshine or how to wake up on the right side of the bed but i don’t think that is realistic. If you read my blogs (there’s more to the sentence, but I want to stop here and take a moment to show genuine appreciation to you!) in real time, you’ll know that last week was a bit of a toughie for your grrrrl. I want to be open and honest with you because it’s more helpful for both of us than me pretending to feel something I don’t on Beyonce’s good internet. Three things are true about the way that I am building our community. First, I think there is power in promoting the expression of your genuine feelings! Why should we rush to hurry up and feel better if we don’t? Like seriously, who is that helping?? Who are we trying to appease by ignoring emotions because they are uncomfortable? I am a huge believer in letting it out and really taking the time to process your emotions. Second, is that often I give advice that sounds bad, key word: sounds, not is. Sometimes I feel guilty for telling you grrrls to let yourselves be sad, or to get mad, but I have realized this “guilt” is not of my own creation and it’s more of a self-consciousness because it doesn’t align with the traditional advice that I have experienced receiving in the self-care realm. But maybe there is more than one right way to approach a problem and maybe that’s why Grrrl, Get Real exists?

The last thing that is true about our community is that I am teaching as I am learning. I started this blog as an homage to the version of myself that needed it. I have grown a lot, really it feels like I have lived many many lives, but to this day, I still need it. Just in a different ways. I want you grrrls to remember that because I would never purposefully give bad advice, do anything to hurt you, or act like I am better than you because I am not. I just had to get that little weight off of my chest before I began. I recognize this is like back to back gloomy content, so I just wanted to give some context as to why. And just because there are rain clouds does not mean that the party we usually have together is over, it’s just a different kind of party. Everything will still be okay. Pinky promise!! That’s why this week I want to talk about how to throw the perfect pity party of one. Controversial, yes, but as we have established absolutely necessary every now and then. Now, before you go grabbing tissues and locking yourself in your room, let me remind you that this pity party is more than just wallowing. It’s a whole vibe, and if you do it right, you’ll feel a whole lot lighter after it’s over. So, let’s get this party started right!

Just The Spot

I don’t think I have ever really thrown a forreal forreal party before, and I am not just saying that because my parents read my blog. So to be completely honest, my knowledge on parties are a little limited. From what I have seen on TV, it’s all about location, location, location! Wait, is that about real estate? Either way, I feel like location could make or break your party. We have already suffered enough, we don’t need a major party foul getting in the way of us processing our emotions and totally ruining our lives! Cowa-bummer. The check-list for essentials for a suitable location for a pity party is actually really short, but it’s important to make sure you hit each requirement. You just need somewhere safe and judgement-free, which is why most people opt for spaces conducive to privacy and seclusion. Let’s be really honest here, the only reason pity parties get such a bad rep is because other people around you don’t want to see you sad, whether that’s because they care about you or care about their good time is neither here nor there. One of the best places to be vulnerable is in your own bed because processing heightened emotions takes a lot of energy and when you finally crash out you’ll already be in your own bed!! If you do not have your own room, the shower is a close second for best places to let go. The water is soothing and is also the perfect cover up for any loud crying or ranting that may take place. Another completely slept on option is with your friends or family! Let’s normalize making it acceptable to vent to the people that are closest to us and making them feel safe to express themselves without feeling like a burden. If none of these are available to you, don’t worry grrrl you still have options! Therapy has been absolutely life changing for me, and it is the one space other than my apartment that I pay to feel fully safe in.

Free The Feels!

The next step for throwing the perfect pity party is to literally rage! Can you really call it a party if things don’t get a little crazy and out of control? Grrrl, GET LOOSE WITH IT! You can do this in many ways like exercising, cleaning, shopping, journaling, or even singing and dancing. The point is to choose a healthy medium that fits your comfort level and purge all of the pent up energy that you have pent up inside of you. Think of it like a bikini clearance sale after Labor Day, everything must go! There is no limit to the many ways that you can go out about this. No way is wrong, as long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else. A typical pity party for me starts with staring out into blank space until the totality of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks. Then we begin with the ranting, which leads to raging, and then the fireworks! By fireworks, I mean a good ol’ fashioned ugly cry. One thing about me? I’M! LITERALLY! GOING! TO! CRY! Like what do you really expect from me when it feels like everything is going wrong? I’m just a grrrl and sometimes you just need to cry it out! Like, really cry it out. The kind where your face gets all red, scrunched up, and you try to talk but you just sound like a mix of a baby who missed nap time and an alien from mars. We’ve all been there, there is no shame in shedding a tear or two thousand. Scientifically speaking, crying is actually good for you because it releases stress and can even boost your mood once you’ve let it all out. So, go ahead, and let it all out. This is your pity party, and you can cry if you want to!

On To The Next

Like any good party, it has to come to an end, and this part is key. You can’t throw a pity party and live in it forever. That’s when things get sticky, and you risk getting stuck. Instead, you have to think of pity parties as less of a lifestely and more like a reset button. Create a ritual to signify the end of your pity party. It could be as simple as writing down a list of things you’re ready to let go of, finally cleaning up your space, or opening the window and letting in a little fresh air and sun. Let there be LIGHT! I’m hesitant to share my ritual because it’s lowkey toxic. I know my pity party is over when I start justifying my shopping splurges. Nothing will clear my online shopping carts faster than a minor inconvenience IRL. Oh and don’t let it be something seriously wrong, I might mess around and buy the whole earth!! The idea is to wrap up your feelings and put a little bow on them. After your party is officially over, do something kind for yourself. But don’t be like me and shop until your problems drop. It’s waaay too expensive! This could mean spending time binge watching all of your favorite feel good movies, trying that new yoga class you have been talking yourself out of trying, booking a trip, or even just taking a walk to clear your head. Your pity party was one for the books, but now it’s time to pick yourself up and remember that tomorrow is a new dawn, it’s a new day, and you’re feeeeeeelin good grrrl!

After everything’s said and done, have a little heart-to-heart with yourself. There is nothing wrong with a little healthy reflection on what was bothering you. This could even lead to a better understanding of what triggers put you in the mood to pity party in the first place. Don’t be afraid to dive deep, but remember to be gentle. This is your moment to process, not to berate yourself for feeling the way you do. Be honest but compassionate. It’s not about wallowing forever or getting stuck in a loop of negativity, it’s about acknowledging your emotions, giving yourself the space to feel them, and then letting them go. Throwing a pity party isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s actually an act of self-compassion. You’re giving yourself permission to be human, to feel deeply, and to come out the other side even stronger. When you hold space for your emotions, you allow yourself to release the weight of everything you’ve been carrying. That’s powerful. Whether it’s crying, laughing, or reflecting, the purpose of your pity party is to create a safe space for emotional release, so you can show up as your greatest and highest self. You deserve to take care of yourself, even on the bad days. Scratch that, you especially deserve care on the bad days. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!