Do you remember the last time you stopped being yourself? If you don’t remember the day this happened then you’re normal, but if you do remember when this happened because you keep a log of every single embarrassing moment that has ever happened to you in alphabetical order then congratulations, you’re just like me! 

POV: you’re my therapist. I remember it like it was yesterday, *dramatically stares out of the window* I was in the sixth grade and I was standing in front of the love of my middle school life in line to go to the cafeteria. He was everything a girl my age looked for! Funny, obviously super cute, and he had a really cool blue jacket. Are you writing all of this down? It’s important. Anyways, I was standing in front of him daydreaming about how we would be middle school sweethearts when all of a sudden I accidentally overheard him insult my outfit.

“That is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen.” SHAME! Those nine words changed the trajectory of my life! I was completely embarrassed! I gave him the best years of my life and he stepped on my heart and threw it in the garbage where APPARENTLY my favorite top belonged. Rude.

In reality, he never said anything about me specifically, he only insulted the shirt, but I started to internalize the insult and take it personally, so mentally it was like he was actually talking about me. All of a sudden I couldn’t help but believe that there was something inherently wrong with me for picking out an outfit that others would find so obviously hideous. For the first time in my life I started to develop negative limiting beliefs. 

A limiting belief is a state of mind or a false belief about yourself that restricts you in some way and choosing to view a limiting belief as true can have negative effects on your self-esteem, self-image, and overall mental health. I was convinced by my negative limiting beliefs that it was no longer safe to express my authentic self because if I did I would be judged. So, I began to trade my authenticity for approval and shrink into what I thought was a more “normal” version of myself. 

Instead of finding power in my uniqueness, I was making myself miserable trading my authenticity for approval. I started to value other people’s opinions over my intuition, becoming very self-conscious about my appearance, and feeling completely lost. Slowly but surely I was becoming a one dimensional, socially accepted version of myself because I was afraid of being hurt again. Sound familiar? 

Living life inside of the boundaries that negative limiting beliefs create is like volunteering to live inside of a prison, and if that’s where you currently find yourself it’s time to break out of confinement. I know firsthand what it’s like to have anxiety over living life authentically, so I want to offer you some judgment-free advice on how to overcome negative limiting beliefs about yourself. 

You are the architect of your own reality. The labels, rules, and judgements that you choose to believe define the world around you. During your self-care journey you are going to have to learn, unlearn, and relearn a lot of beliefs that you have accepted as “true” in order to reach a place where you are operating as the healthiest and happiest version of yourself. 

The first step in living life more authentically is to start letting go of limiting beliefs that don’t serve your greatest and highest good. Meaning, If a belief isn’t keeping you physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually safe or helping you to become the best, most authentic version of yourself then it is probably holding you back. Sometimes we act as our own worst critics and develop limiting beliefs surrounding our biggest insecurities, so try to start with a clean slate and form new beliefs that are going to empower and uplift you. Think of it as spring cleaning of the mind!

Not only do you have to pay attention to the limiting beliefs that you are creating for yourself but you have to be mindful of judgements formed by others. Separate what you believe to be true and projections of other people’s insecurities. Ask yourself, “Does this belief bring positive energy into my life?”, and if the answer is no then toss it into the trash next to my old t-shirt. 

Now grrrls, Always remember that you are completely in control of your life. You are completely in control of your thoughts. You are completely in control of your behavior. You are completely in control of your emotions and that life is all about perspective. Testing your limiting beliefs, will ultimately help you push the boundaries preventing you from living your life authentically. This change may feel exciting, or even sometimes a little uncomfortable. Just remember to go at your own pace and to try to have fun with it. Now get out there and be the best version of yourself! What limiting beliefs are holding you back?