HEY GRRRLFREEEENNNN! We are officially a month into restarting our radical self-care journey together!! Before we do a victory dance, can we have a moment of honesty? Is anyone else a little too exhausted to cha cha right now, or is it just me? I don’t know what’s going on, but it feels like whoever is in charge of my Sims character has the pressure turned to the max. Just to give you a quick life update, I have been sick as a dog for the past two weeks, my thighs are screaming for dear life after years of being “allergic” to squats, and the worst part is my life still looks exactly the same. Can you say frustrating? I am usually a pretty optimistic person, but when I restarted this blog, I solemnly swore to keep it one hundred. 

I am also sharing this because I want to do more than write generally unhelpful fluff pieces that offer nothing but pretty words and poppin’ playlists. If I am currently feeling stressed out and overwhelmed as I try to push past my comfort zone, you grrrls probably feel the same way. I want you to leave this little corner of Rihanna’s internet feeling like a complete savage ready to tackle radical self-care! So this week, I want to offer you some insight on how I have personally been trying to give myself grace when it feels like all my effort is for nothing and there is no point in trying. 

Blocking Out The BS

As I’ve shared previously, I recently moved back to the city and manifested my first apartment, grad school, and a new big grrrl job! These are all adjustments that I am ultimately grateful for and proud of myself for accomplishing, but I would be lying to you if I said my life looks like how I thought it would before these changes came to fruition. It has been a challenge pushing myself to reconnect with old friends, I feel like I am failing at my job and school, and my upstairs neighbor owns the world’s loudest pet. Something that has saved me from multiple meltdowns is that I’ve realized that this is all just noise. Literally and figuratively! The intrusive thoughts that make me feel like there’s no way I will ever make friends who love the real me, the anxiety I feel around my academic and professional performance, and the puppy that barks like a chicken are all just distractions. Labeling these interferences as distractions instead of obstacles helps me minimize the pressure and reduce their power over my thoughts and feelings.

Progress Over Perfection

Lately, If I am experiencing a thought or in an environment that isn’t conducive to me feeling safe, happy, or whole, I still try my best to move forward. Depending on what is most productive or how I feel that day, I either completely ignore it or simply allow myself the space and time to process it. For example, on particularly busy days when I know I’m not leaving the house, I dress like Shrek is my personal stylist. I’m talking about the big t-shirt with last night’s spaghetti stain, the comfy shorts with the big hole in them, and a face covered in zit cream. Obviously, when I’m in this mode, it’s easier for me to feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts about my appearance. Ogres have feelings too! In those moments, I have been trying to remind myself that my purpose in life is not to look photoshopped 24/7, and even supermodels have their off days. Putting too much pressure on myself to look perfect is pointless, so I focus on my progress instead. Who cares if it looks like I could defend a swamp every now and then as long as I am still trying my best? 

The Buddy System

If you haven’t noticed from the brutal honesty Or as my therapist calls it, “TMI” in this blog post, a major part of my radical self-care journey has been pushing myself to be more honest and vulnerable with how I am really feeling. Convincing myself to trust that other people care about what I have to say has been one of the hardest habits I have been working on lately, but I have to say that it actually feels pretty good. I am usually selective with sharing my feelings because I don’t want to be a burden, but I have been trying to remind myself that that’s literally what friends are for! By doing this, I’ve realized that choosing to suffer in silence only makes me feel more stressed out. It’s okay to be open with people you trust because your friends are never going to let you feel like you are falling. If they have the capacity to listen, take them up on the opportunity to be heard and feel seen. Trust me, there are few things in life better than a quick kiki with your grrrls!  

Trying to add radical self-care practices to an already extremely long to-do list is enough to make any grrrl go crazy. Try not to be too hard on yourself as you try to figure out the perfect balance. If you feel overwhelmed and stressed, just remember that you are also trying your best and that your best can look different from day to day. You are doing amazing, and you are absolutely not alone! Change can be extremely uncomfortable, but we owe it to ourselves to create happy and healthy lives. Congratulations to everybody for staying consistent for a MONTH! I’m beyond proud of you grrrls and can’t wait to celebrate many more milestones with you all!! Until then, Honor your whole humanness, give yourself grace, and go and be great! TTYL grrrly pop!