The basis of a radical self-care journey is essentially creating a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself. Starting a relationship with yourself is just like having a relationship with anyone else, you’ve got to put the time and effort in to show that you actually care. If you’re a rookie in the romance game, or just afraid to be alone, don’t stress out! You don’t have to be Fabio to have a fabulous V-day. The best part of establishing a relationship with yourself is that you are the expert on you! There is no miscommunication, mind games, or messiness because you know exactly how you want to be loved. The point is, we don’t have to wait for someone else to give us the bare minimum ever again. Do yourself a favor and don’t fake it this Valentine’s Day.  

Luckily for all the grrrls, I have recently made it my personal mission to start romanticizing my life to the fullest. I’m practically cupid! So, I feel perfectly qualified to help you have the best Valentine’s Day EVER. Hands down, the easiest way to take your V-Day plans from absolutely not to scorching hot is to find your love language and really woo yourself. Your love language refers to the way you prefer to express and receive love. Learning your love language is an important aspect of your ability to show up for yourself, and teach others how to show up for you, in the most meaningful and authentic way. If you are unsure of what your love language is or need some ideas on how to express it, I’ve got a few ideas that can help you!

Quality Time

If quality time is your love language, then you tend to place the highest value of appreciation on the time spent together in a relationship, but more importantly being intentional about how you are spending that time. Theoretically, if quality time is your love language then your radical self-care cup should runneth over because you are spending every single second with yourself, but how much undivided attention are you showing yourself in those moments? This V-Day, you should aim to create moments with yourself where you can be fully present and focus on appreciating what you love most about yourself. My favorite example of this if you love to sing and dance is to perform concerts in the mirror! I’m convinced I was an international popstar in a past life. If you’re looking for something more… quiet, then another great example is indulging in mindless tasks to let your mind reach a meditative state. Think cleaning the kitchen, running on a treadmill, or using a coloring book. Anything that doesn’t require much brain activity so that you can be alone with your thoughts! 

Acts of Service

If acts of service are your love language, the phrase “actions speak louder than words” will be the key to unlocking your perfect Valentine’s Day. You place the highest value of appreciation on the number of items crossed off your to-do list. Meaning, the way to your heart is to do things for yourself that will make your life easier. For you, the small things show that you care and have a huge impact on how you recognize love. Think ahead about some of the ways that you can have a better day or boost your mood and then gift it to yourself! For example, are you usually too busy for your daily greens? Hello, fruit smoothie! Are rush-hour radio ads making your commute home from work unbearable? Make yourself a poppin playlist! Can’t remember the last time you saw your bedroom floor? SAME, let’s go put our clothes away before they literally swallow us alive! Did my sweater just grab my leg?

Words of Affirmation

If words of affirmations are your love language, then you place the highest value of appreciation on verbal acknowledgements of affection and have a soft spot for sweet talk. Romeo, Romeo, Where art thou Romeo? Words of affirmation are often used to express appreciation, provide encouragement, or to compliment. If you prefer this expression of affection, words of affirmation help you to feel understood, heard, and acknowledged. My favorite way to express words of affirmations, without feeling totally awkward, is to find songs that convey the positive message that you want to say to yourself. For example, I didn’t say I’m that girl, Beyonce did! But she aint wrong!! You could also try more traditional practices like journaling your affirmations, or complimenting yourself in the mirror, but Renaissance Act II is dropping March 29th so we gotta get ready! 

Receiving Gifts

If receiving gifts is your love language, you place the highest value of appreciation on being presented with objects of affection. A common misconception about this love language is that the appreciation for the gift is in direct correlation to it’s monetary value aka the dolla dolla bills y’all when in reality, there is a greater emphasis placed on the thoughtfulness and level of emotional significance. If you are looking for a new way to be wooed that aligns with receiving gifts than I have three words for you: TREAT! YOUR! SELF! As a recovering shopaholic, I can recognize that this is potentially dangerous advice but you can start off small and stick to a *gulp* budget for some guilt free gifts. New winter boots sounds like a responsible purchase, but then of course you’d have to buy the matching ski vacation to go with it… okay, maybe just start with gloves!

Physical Touch

If physical touch is your love language, you place the highest value of appreciation on receiving affection through non-verbal communication. If you prioritize this expression of affection, consensual physical intimacy and other forms of sensory experiences are how you affirm feelings of emotional and mental connection. If you are looking for some battery free ways to express your affection physically, skin care is your sensory solution! Lather, rinse, and repeat all of your lotions, serums, and soaps to your heart’s content. If you’re looking for more opportunities for physical touch outside of the bedroom, you could also consider booking yourself a nail or hair appointment. Nothing says I love myself like a fresh blow out! 

Everybody needs to receive every love language, but we all have our preferences and prioritize them differently. Love languages are just a general idea of where to start, but specifics on how a person wants to receive and express love within that genre are completely unique to the individual. No matter what your plans are today, just know that you are not alone! You have yourself, you have me, and you have this community. Call me a hopeless romantic, a little sweetie pie, or just a complete grrrls grrrl but I really do love you all! Helping all the grrrlies feel better keeps me accountable, inspires me to create, and motivates me to go on when the chaos behind the blog tries to take me out! Thank you for continuing your radical self-care journey with me and have the best Valentine’s Day EVERRRR! TTYL grrrls, go and be great!