HEY GRRRLFREEEENNNN! Welcome to MONTH THREE of restarting our radical self-care journey together! We’ve come a long way from our one-and-done grrrl talk sesh two years ago. Speaking of which, have you ever looked back on something that you did, or didn’t do, and just wondered what the actual efffffff you were thinking?? Why did it take us so long to make actual progress? Or see something as it truly was? Or stop wearing that outfit that clearly belonged in the National Museum of Fashion Don’ts?? Wait, I have a really funny story that may or may not be on topic. So, When I was in 7th grade, I had just entered that pre-teen phase where I wanted to start picking out my own clothes but did not really understand what went together or what worked for my blossoming body. Puberty probzzzz. One of the worst things I have ever picked out, and yes, there were several, was this extremely oversized traffic cone orange polo t-shirt. Now I have no clue what I was thinking because I had absolutely no business wearing a men’s big and tall neon orange polo that literally made me look like that bagel guy from iCarly, but I didn’t know any better!!! 

The point of that story, other than this blog being free therapy for me, is that we have to approach our relationship with our past self with kindness because those bad decisions were made because we didn’t know any better. Now not every mistake is as easy to spot as a t-shirt that glows in the dark, others you will have to learn with time because that’s just a part of life. If you knew better, you would do better, and as we continue on our radical self care journey, the right thing to do, or the thing that feels right for you, will eventually become clearer. This week’s blog post is about addressing some of the more obvious choices that are preventing you from raising your consciousness and making the choices that are going to help you reach your highest and greatest good more quickly. Remember grrrls, this blog is a completely judgment-free zone, which is why I tell so many embarrassing stories, and it is also only meant to be a guide to help you along your radical self care journey. I am not here to tell you what to do, but if you are over-indulging in any of these areas, I encourage you to be real about how it affects your ability to move forward and achieve your goals.  

Grrrls Gone Wild

If you’ve got the club going up on a Tuesday… and every other day of the week, then it might be time to consider turning down the turn-ups. This is an area that I used to know very very very well. After all, I’m a Sagittarius, which means that I was born to be the belle of the ball. I may just be a grandma now, but I can’t think of anything worse than feeling like your life is a constant audition for The Hangover 3. I am not saying that you have to become a social recluse, but there are benefits to putting the party on pause. Personally, I have never experienced a hangover where I feel like reaching my greatest and highest good. In fact, the only thing I feel like reaching for is my phone to order a Mcgriddle. Ba da ba ba NAH grrrl! Think about it this way, how are you supposed to make clear and sound decisions if you are in a constant cycle of consuming mind-altering substances? When I was at the peak of my party grrrl phase, I was doing more than having a little harmless fun. I was overindulging to avoid feeling overwhelmed by the aspects of my life I was dissatisfied with. You are going to reach a point in your radical self care journey where choosing to run away from your problems isn’t going to make sense anymore. Trust me when I say it is soo much easier to get ahead of this point by choosing to deal with your problems rather than life putting you in a position where your problems are unavoidable.       

You Are What You Consume

I’m not here to police your plate, but a good homegrrrl wouldn’t let you walk through life without knowing the 411 on making healthier decisions in the kitchen. In the same way that excessive substance use messes with your mind, so does what you consume. If you were unaware, join the club! It wasn’t until I decided to pay more attention to what I was consuming that I learned that the food you eat can significantly impact your mood and brain function, which is why your gut is often referred to as your second brain. All of this healthy eating information can be super overwhelming especially if you have had limited opportunities to learn about it, access to healthier food options, or have been made to feel like achieving a healthier lifestyle was unattainable. The most important thing to focus on is that you are making a greater effort to do better, despite the odds that were stacked against you before. Where there is a will, there is a way! If the thought of trying to making healthier decisions in your own kitchen is stressing you out to the point where you are too afraid to try, maybe your first step can be to watch other people in similar situations as yourself, whether that means a busy grrrl, a curvy grrrl, or even a scaredy grrrl, watching someone you can relate to make healthier food decisions may inspire you to try something new! 

Also, I am being very intentional with saying the word “consume” versus “eat” because I would like to open the conversation up to include more than what you choose to put on your plate. One of the most beneficial detox decisions I made was to unfollow people, places, and things online that made me feel bad about myself. Life is already hard enough, I dont need an Instagram robo-baddies reminding me that I dont have the perfect life, body, or budget. No seriously, AI is freaky scary nowadays. The more that I lean into following pages that I am actually interest me, or serve me, that I can relate to the more enjoyable my online experience has been! It also reminded me that excessive social media use can warp your perception of reality if you are not too careful. I love a good filter, but I also I want to love my actual appearance as well. I am not saying that you can’t love both, I am saying that it goes a long way to make sure that you are being better about showing yourself the love and care you need outside of those perfect selfie moments.

Fair Weather Frenemies

I am four years into my radical self care journey and I am still learning this lesson. The people that you have around you matter, especially when you are trying to change your life for the better. Elevating your energy and pouring back into yourself, when you aren’t used to doing that or don’t know how to do that, is incredibly difficult and having people around you that secretly like you better when your feeling low makes it ten times worse. If you are not completely sure if someone is a fair weather frenemy to you, meaning that they only want to support you and uplift you if it benefits them or if it is convenient to them, the first step is to pay attention to how they make you feel. Our bodies can be incredibly useful tools for deciphering information when our minds are all confused, all we have to do is pay attention to the signs. This applies to everybody, not just the people in your life that are in the official friend category. For example, if your greatest and highest self is a fashion model but the current version of yourself is surrounded by “friends” who are constantly making fun of your style, a situationship that makes you question your natural beauty, and an aunt that is constantly making comments about how a career in fashion isn’t sustainable in the long term you are obviously going to feel discouraged about pursing your dream life on the runway. Right now, it is important for you to feel like the world is at your finger tips because it is! Anyone that makes you doubt that is not a true friend.

Okay grrrls, since it’s month three of restarting our radical self care journey together, it’s time we kick it up a notch! It’s super impressive that we have remained consistent up until this point but variety is the spice of life and I’m ready to have a little fun. I think a major detox is in order to help us really focus in on reaching our greatest and highest selves. So pick your poison and join me in a month long #DoBetterChallenge starting on April 5th! It doesn’t matter what you decide to detox from just as long as you are challenging yourself to do better than you were before by incorporating a new healthy habit, or a few if you are feeling extra motivated. Let’s try to stay consistent with choosing the decisions that will make us feel happier, healthier, and more whole all month and then on Cinco De Mayo we can have a huge celebration of our success! Frozen margaritas anyone?? Grrrls, focusing on everything that is working against us is holding us back! Instead, we should be coming up with realistic ways to work around the issues and take back control over our lives! You are absolutely not alone, and you are most definitely not powerless. You can do anything that you set your mind to, all you have to do is believe that you can and try. If Beyonce can make the greatest country album I have ever heard in my entire life, you can do anything too. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!