In full transparency, before I wrote this blog post, I was literally in my bed screaming into a pillow because I was feeling overwhelmed. And maybe a little dramatic! I also accidentally hurt my hand on my way to my computer desk, but I will save the gory details for when I accept my Purple Heart award for helping the grrrls get their groove back! Now back to business, I made a commitment to all my grrrlfrens that I would try my best to move forward every day no matter how imperfect it looked, so today I’m gonna find the first aid kit and talk about overcoming false ideas! 

Life is trial and error, and learning from your past experiences is like using a calculator to solve a math problem! In theory, when you use a calculator, you should always receive the correct answer but if you miss a decimal, forget to add a digit, or accidentally subtract instead of multiplying, you’ll get the wrong results. If you misinterpret a past life experience, you could get the wrong ideas about yourself and what you are capable of in the future!

Don’t Let Your Brain Bully You!

Our brains are always collecting information from our experiences with the world outside of ourselves, our feelings, and also our bodies to create formulas for us to live by in order to keep us alive. Some of these formulas produce amazing ideas that are 10 outta 10 bangers for us to adopt in order to survive. Wear a seat belt, Wash your hands, Remember to take out the chicken before your mom gets home. For example, if you touched a hot stove when you were little and burned your hand, your brain has probably developed this formula for you to adopt and live by:

Formula: Hot Stove + Hand = Pain  
Idea: Oven mitts are our friends!

Unfortunately, sometimes your brain can come up with ideas that even Oscar Meyer himself wouldn’t sell. For example, if you were brave enough to show your friends your real singing voice during a sleepover and they laughed at you, your brain might have miscalculated the information you learned from that negative experience and came up with this formula for you to adopt: 

Formula: you sang + people laughed at you = grrrl, you can’t sing. 
Idea: Never attempt a Mariah Carey high note ever again!

Which is a terrible formula to adopt moving forward if the happiest and highest version of yourself is an international popstar singing sensation. See grrrls, one reason it is soo hard to actualize our dreams and live our best lives is that many of us are still carrying around false ideas from way back when that make no sense for how we want to live our lives presently. These ideas mess with our self-confidence, self-image, and even our self-esteem. We have no problem letting ideas like Santa or the tooth fairy go, but why can’t we forget the obviously untrue ideas about ourselves?  

Introducing The X Factor

One strategy for overcoming these false beliefs is to try not to take your negative experiences personally by introducing the X factor. The simplest way to explain the X factor is that it is all of the things beyond our control shaping the reality we are currently experiencing. Let’s use the sleepover example again! You belted out your high note, had amazing stage presence, and even added a quick little shuffle ball change number that you knew would gag the grrrlies, but they still laughed! Let’s solve for X. Maybe a ghost was doing the stanky leg behind you, your fly was down during your performance, or they were just jealous of your natural born talent! Haters gon hate grrrl.

Drop It Like It’s Hot

But Bino, what if there truly was no X factor, and the sad sad truth is I just can’t sing! GRRRL! If you want to sing, you better sing your little heart out! The next strategy for overcoming false ideas is to set expiration dates for believing in them. You wouldn’t pour expired milk into your cereal, so why would you let an embarrassing moment from 2008 dictate how you live your life in 2024? This year we are straight up ignoring the negative energy and doing what makes us feel good! If you are serious about finding the courage to sing this year and want to take your shower concert performances public, then act like Nike and just do it already! The numbers don’t lie, the more that you attempt to create positive change, the more likely you are to manifest positive change. 

The Limit Does Not Exist

The last strategy for overcoming false ideas is to create new ones. Don’t let your first and only time trying something leave a lasting impression on your ability to succeed. The first time or even the second, third, fourth, or fifth time you try something might not look amazing, but luckily for us, there is no three strikes and you’re out rule to life! You fumbled at the sleepover 16 years ago, SO WHAT! You could decide to go to karaoke tonight and receive your long overdue standing ovation or even a platinum record deal! If something is meant for you, it will not pass you but you can delay it by being too scared to try again.

We are not calculators, or computers, or robots. We are not meant to know all of the answers, which means that starting a radical self-care journey can feel like attempting rocket science. To Infinity and beyond! But for our mental health and for the sake of becoming our greatest and highest selves, we have to rule out the possibility that the answer is that there is something inherently wrong with us or that we are meant to fail. Your past doesn’t define you, and you are not your negative thoughts. Make today the day that you give yourself a fresh start to break new ground! The possibilities are infinite, now go and be great grrrl!