#HEYGRRRLFRENNNS I think I am having a mid-life crisis. I’m not joking. This year alone has felt like I have traveled through time and space and am suddenly a little old lady stuck in the body of a blossoming young woman. YES! 28 is still young!! Even though internally it feels like I have lived many lives and survived living as multiple versions of myself I still get frustrated because I know that I have not reached my final form. I know change takes time but transformation is TAXING! Imagine you are a phoenix and every time you level up you blow up like a big ol firework… like what? As beautiful of a display as that is, it lowkey sounds painful. I am not trying to be pessimistic, I’m just keeping it real. Here we are in November, and I have to admit, this time of year always has me reflecting on the goals I set in January. If you’re anything like me, those early-year visions were BIG, and I was determined to make things happen! But now, as the last couple of months of the year are here, there’s this mix of excitement and a little bit of panic, too.

Like, where did the time go? How much did I actually check off my list? And, more importantly, where do I go from here? I know I’m not alone in this end-of-year feeling, so I figured we could take a moment to reset and refocus together. Let’s talk about what happens when reality doesn’t quite line up with what you imagined. Maybe you had a certain idea of what this year would look like, or specific goals you planned to achieve, but things didn’t pan out as expected. Maybe change has been slower than you wanted, or you can’t see any visible results yet. If this sounds like you, don’t worry! Real change is often a longer, slower process than we give it credit for, and even if the year didn’t go exactly to plan, there’s still time to make meaningful steps forward. Let’s dig into how to manage those expectations, keep the motivation alive, and keep making progress, even if it feels invisible for now.

Trust The Process

When you set those goals at the start of the year, chances are they were ambitious! You weren’t being delusional, you were excited, ready for change, and totally committed. But here’s the thing about big goals: sometimes, they take longer to materialize than we initially think. Life throws curveballs, plans change, and growth doesn’t always look like we thought it would. Instead of focusing on what hasn’t happened, let’s try reframing expectations to see what has changed, even if it’s small. Take a moment to reflect on any personal growth or subtle progress you’ve made. Maybe you’re handling stress better, making more mindful choices, or simply being kinder to yourself. A small change I made recently is that I am actively trying to manage my stress because I’m pretty sure it’s a huge trigger for my anxiety. That has looked like me implementing a morning routine and prioritizing sleep. Now it’s the middle of November and all I have to prove to myself as progress is good sleep and that my bed is always made up? Like…. how am I not a superstar yet?? I constantly have to remind myself that these may seem like super small wins, but they’re actually huge steps toward the person you’re becoming. The best version of me does not have bags under eyes!! Even if they are designer! So at least I have ninety-nine differences between me and my highest self, but sleep aint one. This is also forcing me to learn to love who I’m becoming along the way and acknowledge how I’ve grown, which is cool. As I’m writing this I’m like oh snap, is that why it’s called a radical self-care JOURNEY?? Love it!

The Long Game

Also would I be a Millennial cusp if I didn’t blame society for all of my issues?? GRRRLS! We live in the age of instant gratification!! Think. about. it. Instant coffee, instant ramen, Insta… gram! If I wanted an extra large cheese pizza delivered to my door I could have it in 30 minutes or less. No one out pizzas the hut! In a world that celebrates instant results, it’s easy to feel discouraged when you don’t see physical changes right away. But let’s remember that real, lasting change takes time. Imagine you’re planting seeds for a garden. You water them, make sure they get sunlight, and do everything right, but the flowers don’t bloom overnight. It takes weeks, sometimes even months, before you see anything sprout. But just because you can’t see anything happening above ground doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot happening below the surface. The same goes for life changes. Progress often happens quietly, without fanfare. Also, if you were to get everything you wanted without putting in the work for it right away would you learn what it takes to sustain it? If you woke up with your dream body without doing the mental, physical, and emotional work to achieve it how long do you think you could keep it up without Uber eats snatching it back?? (This is fresh on my mind because I just calculated my Uber Eats total on the phone with my sister and if I didn’t order out I could literally be a millionaire by now.) The point is, you should try to focus on small, consistent actions, rather than getting discouraged by the big picture. Break your goals down into tiny steps and celebrate each one. Trust that these little moments of effort will eventually lead to the changes you’re hoping to see, even if they’re not visible right now. Progress might feel slow, but every bit of it counts.

The Big Why

When the going gets tough, reconnecting with why you started can be the perfect motivation boost. Think back to the reasons you set these goals in the first place. What made you excited? What did you imagine feeling when you accomplished them? Reconnecting with your why can bring back that spark of energy you felt back in January, and it’s often enough to remind you that the journey is worth it. I hate to point this out grrrls, but if you give up now you are just setting yourself up to feel the exact same way you felt at the top of the year. Personally, I’m kind of tired of having the same five New Year’s Eve resolutions for the past decade of my life. Just imagine how refreshing it would feel to add a little something new to the top of the list? Like a cherry on top! Sometimes, we get so caught up in the idea of reaching the finish line that we forget why we started. So take a few minutes to remind yourself of your vision and what you want to create. If your goals don’t feel as exciting as they did at the start of the year, that’s okay, too. Feel free to adjust them, switch them up, or even create new ones that feel more aligned with where you are now. Your goals should serve you, not the other way around, so embrace the pivot grrrlies! Keeping that vision alive, even if it looks a bit different, is a way to maintain hope and motivation as you keep moving forward.

As the year comes to a close, remember that time is never wasted on growth, even if it doesn’t look exactly the way you pictured. Just because you haven’t seen the physical changes you hoped for doesn’t mean the progress isn’t happening. Every effort you’ve made, every bit of resilience you’ve shown, and every step you’ve taken, no matter how small, has been part of creating something meaningful. Real change isn’t always flashy or fast; it’s often quiet, steady, and a bit messy. So don’t give up just because the year-end is approaching. Use this time to reflect on all the small ways you’ve grown, celebrate every little win, and keep believing in your journey. Remember that growth takes time, and the seeds you’ve planted this year might need a little longer to bloom. Stay focused on what you want, stay connected to your why, and trust that your hard work is leading you exactly where you need to go. The journey isn’t over, this is just the beginning of something amazing. Now go and be great you lil grrrly pop! TTYL!